


Observe, Analyze, Adapt

by Stardustjinn



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Gen, artoo doesn't get paid enough for this, at least that was what i intended, might have gotten some facts wrong, with some mild sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-25 13:40:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17122406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stardustjinn/pseuds/Stardustjinn
Summary: Six snapshots from Artoo Detoo's memory files that are tagged Skywalker.





	Observe, Analyze, Adapt

**Author's Note:**

  * For [stranestelle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stranestelle/gifts).



> [AN] I dug this up from one of the abandoned concepts which started from celebrate the clone wars prompt Evolve and Adapt. It's too late to submit but I thought I'd credit the prompt anyway.

R2-D2 was a proud astromech droid, manufactured by the best to serve the Royal House of Naboo. He might be relatively fresh out of the factory, but he had more experience than most droids with similar activation time. He had fixed the Naboo Royal Starship mid-flight several times now, once even in the middle of a firefight. And this was not the first time aiding star pilots either, though actual battles had been rare, and an over-enthusiastic nine-year-old pilot was rarer.

He had not worried at the beginning. Partly this was because astromech droids were not programmed to worry and partly because at the beginning it was well within his function to help Naboo army in destroying those battle droids. It was also within his function to help a pilot—a small one, but still a pilot—in the battle for Naboo. And when the ship's programmed autopilot became too cumbersome, it was protocol to turn it off and give the pilot full control.

That was when he learned that some pilots were... more different than others.

This little human flew the fighter like a pod. It was erratic enough to introduce multiple glitches in Artoo's clean system. They resulted in a series of queries that Artoo had never needed to ask before, such as whether this experience could be classified as 'flying', or since when 'babysitting' had become part of his programmed functions, or if there would be anything left of him to salvage after this.

The tiny pilot was just ecstatic, blithely unaware of how many common rules of space combat and laws of physics they were breaking.

"I'll try spinning, that's a good trick!"

It was all Artoo could do to keep the star fighter stabilized and cling on with dear life—metaphorically speaking.

By the end of the day, Artoo had a new entry for the word 'spin' in his database with a footnote, discovered the emotion 'panic', and an appropriate sound file to express it.

* * *

"Alright, Artoo, we can do this. Just stay with me."

This was not a Nubian Fighter, and that little human had somehow become a Jedi, and his flight pattern had not changed at all in ten years.

Of course, this time Artoo also had ten years worth of experience serving Padme Amidala right next to her. Padme Amidala did not believe in memory wiping droids, so Artoo had been able to retain nearly everything he had learned, one of which was something that could be described as a certain appreciation for excitement. He had gotten through that battle that started this war, weaving through the chaos to keep two humans and one golden protocol droid in one piece without ever needing to use his 'scream' file.

"Redirect all power for shields to the engines," Anakin said, canting a look behind them where two vulture droids were trailing. The sight seemed to cheer him up. "Let's see what they've got."

Artoo had predicted that order. Only the most reckless of pilots sacrificed shields for other functions, and Anakin Skywalker was certainly one of those.

And for good reason. Within the next ten seconds, both droids were little more than smoking scrap metal.

_"Anakin, will you stop showing off and help me out here!"_

Obi-Wan Kenobi's voice crackled through the comms.

Anakin rolled his eyes, steadying the ship from its 1980-degree spinning. Everything was upside down. "Alright, old man, where are you?"

_"I'm near the—"_

The comm cut off from interference and Anakin's expression turned serious at once. Artoo performed a quick scan and marked Obi-Wan's direction on the screen.

"I see you." Anakin muttered in a voice that promised pain and suffering as he pulled the fighter around.

Obi-Wan's ship, which could now easily be identified by the vulture droids swarming around it, took a dive and vanished from their view behind one of the Separatist dreadnoughts. As they flew towards it however, another one of Separatist ships loomed overhead, having taken heavy damage from the Resolute and now careening down.

Artoo calculated, and presented an alternative course that would take 1.27 seconds longer but did not involve going between two heavy metal bulks that were about to collide.

Unsurprisingly, Anakin ignored it and fired the engines to max instead.

Artoo did not scream when they zipped through the narrow gap and Anakin started to defy physics again.

Artoo did not scream when the two dreadnoughts crashed and one exploded just behind them.

Artoo did not scream when they shot out the other side and flew straight into the swarm of vulture droids, sending them all scattering to different directions like bowling pins.

Then a debris from the explosion slammed into their left wing and they spun out of control, nearly crashing into Obi-Wan.

And Artoo screamed.

* * *

Organic living beings all had to meet certain requirements to function, and Artoo had been active long enough to learn that their needs varied. Padme Amidala, for example, often needed to be watched over in case of intruders or alerted to some important appointment.

Anakin Skywalker, as Artoo found out quickly, required a slightly different type of care, and the trickiest part was he never asked for it.

"Bearings. Magnetic ones."

Artoo dropped the component into Anakin's outstretched hand, and followed it with a query, this time waving a ration bar. The bar was, in his opinion, a much more efficient form of food and made it easier to convince humans who were not hardcoded to eat when they needed.

Anakin glanced at the bar and shook his head, returning to his work. "Not now, I'm good."

Anakin's  _stomach_  however, chose that exact moment to disagree loudly. He scowled down, as if ready to have an argument with his own body parts.

Artoo bumped against him, waving the bar again and adding an appropriately sad bleep that had proven effective in manipulating human emotions.

It worked. Anakin sighed and tore off his dirty gloves. " _Fine_."

As Anakin wolfed down the ration, Artoo made adjustments to his algorithm for predicting Anakin Skywalker's biological clock.

And added 'babysitting' into his list of official duties.

* * *

The last thing Artoo learned from Anakin Skywalker was that humans, apparently, were susceptible to reprogramming as well.

As a droid, Artoo did not understand plenty of organic concepts, but he could damn well analyze patterns. And the human who returned after leaving with the command, 'stay with the ship', did not match the behavioral patterns of Anakin Skywalker.

Anakin Skywalker would never hurt Padme Amidala.

Anakin Skywalker would never fight Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Anakin Skywalker would never leave Artoo behind.

Artoo analyzed, and filed the results. They were later archived into the deepest part of his database along with all the flight and mission data from the Clone Wars.

* * *

Artoo did not access that data for a long time after. He was usually stationed on  _Tantive IV_  or Alderaan Royal Palace, which required different skills. Occasionally he would be ordered to assist a star pilot on a fighter, but working with people who acted more like droids to him was not quite the same.

Until...

"This R2 unit of yours seems a little beat up. You want a new one?"

Luke Skywalker laughed and shook his head. "Not on your life! That little droid and I have been through a lot together. You okay, Artoo?"

Artoo confirmed. The old memory files returned easily.

It was their first time flying a star fighter together, and this was a different era, a different type of fighter. Still, as soon as he was plugged into the X-Wing, Artoo dug back up the flight pattern analysis from the oldest, most secured part of his database.

Because when it came to living beings, some things just did not change.


End file.
